These days I try my best to keep the potential distractions to a minimum.  Below are some of my current guidelines for achieving a qualtiy Super Bowl Sunday viwing experience.

- Little or no vomitting.
- Have more than enough of a quality German weiss beer on hand (truth is I'll drink anything, but since this is a special day, I prefer the weiss).
- Back up beer is my trusty ol' friend Guinness.
- Have appropriate beer glasses.
- Appetizer is simply chips and salsa with guac and sour cream.
- Regular meal is chilli or delivery pizza - - no fuss, filling, satisfactory leftovers.
- No more than four small children in the house.
- If there are more than two females in the house, they need to have their own area with a TV.
- The women are by no means segregated, but they need the option of their own area where they can have their own convesations.
- I just don't want to hear about how cute some palyer is when I really just need him to fu(k!ng catch the ball when it lands right in his hands.
- At least one TV must be showing the game in high definition.
- I need to be able to actually hear most of the audio from the TV.
- For dessert: bourbon.
- Postgame: have the sex with my wife.

Without all or at least most of this, I might as well be watching a damn awards show.